There are
questions I ask myself each day. Why do Kenyan women sprint after white old men
and rich old black men? Is it smooth all the way afterwards or is it money
matter. I took time to talk to a few ladies and these are their views as we had
our chit chat.
Roxanne’s
ultimate goal is to fly to the states where she expects to find her man. Yet
she doesn’t know the man, which state he is in, how he looks like and where
exactly to find him. In brief she is going to states to start looking for a
white boyfriend or an old rich African living in states. If you listened to
Roxanne narrating this you would burst into laughter. She was actually talking
like she already knew where, how to get the guy and how the guy looks like, as
if she was already dating the man.
Why does
she want a white man or old rich African man? “I want to know how it feels like
to be treated like an egg,” she says. First White men rarely feel bossy- they
will never sit down and wait for everything to be done for them. Second, rich
old African men treat their ladies with respect and admiration, this is a
comparison to a young Kenyan man. When young African men do household chores
it’s like doing their woman a big favor hence making it a big deal. For
instance a young African couple coming home in the evening after work at the
same time, and the first thing the man does is sit on the coach lift his legs
and start reading a newspaper, ten minutes later he starts shouting where is
the food? He doesn’t remember that they had just walked in the house together a
few minutes ago and both of them are tired. Why can’t the two share the chores?
I don’t know.
Fiona, 24
years old had a white boyfriend who expected her just to sit down and do
nothing. Just stay at home and bring up the kids once they are married. Fiona
being a career woman doesn’t agree with the idea since she believes in hard
work. The white man had servants to take care of Fiona but it wasn’t
interesting to Fiona being an African woman. However she has her own
experience: claiming that the guy was fun, caring and spontaneous. A young
African man thinks that treating a woman with respect and affection is lowering
him since he always has issues with pride and insecurity.
Fiona
believes that a white man doesn’t limit good times to drinking to oblivion on
Saturday night, coming home and having sex, sleeping way the hangover and
having more sex. There is more to that they think of picnics, walks, game
drives, visits to scenery or artsy places. Despite all these, they do value
making love to their women with full enjoyment. She adds that the whites have
money to splash and lure the ladies since their currency is much stronger than
our currency.
Fiona’s
rich boyfriend family was somewhat aristocratic. Things were done in a European
manner which was very difficult for Fiona to adjust having been brought up in a
simple African way of living. Fiona had a big problem to fit into this family.
For the guy thought Fiona is a gold digger but Fiona was a genuine simple lady
ready to grow in a relationship. All this Fiona couldn’t stand thus opted out
of the relationship. She seared not to have a white man again. They also had
other issues hence Fiona didn’t have a happy life despite all the money at
disposal.
Lillian, 23
years also went out a foreigner adds that skin color isn’t always the prime
example of honesty. She had gone out with an Italian for three months when he
told her he was married. He claimed his wife was back in Europe and wouldn’t
have a problem if she knew he was having an affair and that she “understood”
him.
And there
are those whose interest is only sex.Nyiva 23 years went out with this guy who
only suggested mid-night dates with a bottle of wine at his house. Being a girl
who wouldn’t be pressured into sex, she would make up all the excuses she could
to avoid going home with him. Her relationship with this white guy lasted only
a month. Sounds familiar?
Nyiva says
“a white man is (just) like any other man “What was worse is that his
colleagues had put the notion in his head that any girl who goes out with a
white guy is just in it for money. Just like in Fiona’s case, therefore he
expected to see a gold digger in her. Unfortunately one day Nyiva asked for
money to make her hair. He didn’t take this kindly and his mood changed, she
says he actually left in the mid-conversation.Nyiva was adamant and said “if he
was my boyfriend then he had to provide for me because if I look bad it will
reflect on him.” And she can also help a guy financially.
When the
guy called Nyiva that evening he said he had confirmed what friends had told
him. She made excuses not to meet him and later he got the hint. She later a
Kenyan young guy and decided to give him a shot. He was not romantic but he was
willing to learn. She says “there is only one man meant for you all over the
world, around the world, don’t chase the world.”
She
cautions all the girls who opt to go down this route that they can miss out on
The One in their determined suit of a white man. “You can pass by a Mr. Right
or vice versa and then you end up settling for something that’s not worth.”She
warns,’he might not be white but he is the one for you.”
But she
doesn’t hide the fact that there are
some things black men can definitely pick up from their vanilla counter parts,
“whites are all about giving there all in a relationship, they are real and
open .“Fiona adds, “If it’s not working, its not working.Blackmen are so scared
to tell the truth, they instead will give subtle hints.” Besides white men make
you feel more appreciated.” He used to compliment every part of me, as much as
I tried to hide my pot and this made me comfortable.”
What more,”
They allow their girls to talk to them freely,” Lillian adds,” Her boyfriend
had a temper but that would not keep her from what was on her mind.”Fiona found
it easy to talk to communicate with her boyfriend as opposed to the African men
she had. They are so insecure and always right,” she quips.
Much as
they come across as guys to die for, these dudes are human after all. It’s just
their upbringing, hence their attitude to women and life, that’s different.
Fiona says,” I even lent him cash sometimes but of course he paid back when he
had promised to do so.”
Think
before you decide to follow your fantasy
By Evelyn
